• Life

    5 Reasons Why Being A Mature Student Sucks

    THE MORNING PANIC What the hell does a 33 year old wear to university? Now I know the answer SHOULD be ‘whatever the hell they want’ but being a mature student in a pretty mixed-age class with a penchant for 90/00s style bin bag baggy jeans and cartoon themed tops, it makes you start to question your life and fashion choices. Especially in the first week when everyone is still getting used to everyone else, it’s all a little judge-y. Blue hair shoved in the “mum bun”, make up free and glowing (read: sweaty and gross) and adorned with tattoos and piercings in a sea of the latest trends certainly…

  • Mental Matters,  Parenting

    I’m The Parent I Wish I’d Had

    When I tell people I cut my mother out of my life they look at me like I’ve gone mad, they imagine some terrible crime has been committed or that she must be on the drink, or drugs, or both and that I must be protecting my children in some way. It’s been five years since I last saw her bar the odd glance in the supermarket and it might shock you if I tell you, she’s not an addict, she’s a millionaire, she’s educated and has never so much as smoked a cigarette let alone tried drugs. She owns several beautiful houses and in her youth dreamed of being…

  • Life

    To My Niece On Your 13th Birthday

    I always pride myself on being your cool Aunty. As the years go by, I am coming to the conclusion that this might not actually be the case. For example, I am about to say something that only deeply uncool old people say; “I don’t know where the last 13 years have gone.” You have grown up so quickly and I feel desperately sad that the cute, bonkers little toddler is now a sassy, bonkers teenager. Although I miss your little squishy face, the best thing about you growing up, is that you have become my best mate.  Often, I forget you are only 13 and I really need to…

  • 5 WHYZ,  Parenting

    5 Reasons Why I’m A Stay At Home Mum

    Reason 1 My Mental Health Look, I know people fiddle the system ‘n’ all that-“I can’t work because of….” etc.  That’s not me-I don’t claim benefits, because to do so would be to have to prove to the “powers that be” that I’m “mentally unwell”-too mentally unwell to go and work a full time job. Right now, I don’t feel confident or comfortable enough to go and work a full time job.  That’s not something that should ever be judged in anyone who is brave enough to admit it. Reason 2 Childcare Costs I actually have sat and worked out how much childcare would cost me, in comparison to how much…

  • Life,  Mental Matters

    Perfect Doesn’t Exist

    As some of you may know, I’m 33. From around the age of ‘knee-high to a grasshopper’ I’ve been asked – “what do you want to be when you grow up?” I have dreamt of a hundred different lives from the usual – ballerina, teacher, princess – to the not so usual – travel journalist, interior decor designer, vampire. In fact, it’s an age old question that we ask our own children today and, I don’t know about you but I worry that my kids want to be YouTuber’s or gymnasts (having never taken a class in their life) and even a builder. I mean, it’s already ALL or NOTHING…

  • Mental Matters,  Parenting

    My Toxic Parent

    Not what I expected to hear, age 38 – I thought I’d had a stable and loving upbringing, I thought my relationship with my parents was normal. But I was seeking help because of my anger issues, my anxiety, and my inability to cope with stress.  But I couldn’t have a toxic parent – she’d not beaten me, not starved me, and she was still around.  Still in my life, still living ten miles away, living a normal life. And then I started to dig deeper into my past. The comments about my weight started age 11, when I was podgy and my new school trousers wouldn’t fit.  A loving parent…

  • Parenting

    A Holiday Performance

    Idyllic sandy beaches, swimming pool fun, picture-perfect family slurping up picture-perfect ice creams. The insta-crowds would be proud. Throw in three over-sensitive, tired children and four adults with over-exposed nerves – including the mum with more emotional baggage than the plane allowance allows, and it’s anything but ‘instagrammable’. Welcome to our annual paid-for-by-my-parents holiday to Carvoeiro, Portugal. We’ve recently returned from our 6th trip to this beautiful town as a family and we hit the same frustrations head-on every year. It’s perfect, paradise, home. Yet it’s exhausting, full of irritation and pressure to ‘perform’, to be switched ON constantly. I feel shitty complaining as I sit in my seat of…