Life,  Mental Matters

Quote Of The Month: “If you don’t ask, you don’t get.”

If I had a pound for every time I heard this saying growing up – I’d actually have enough money to never want again. I can’t even reference this quote since it’s probably been around since the beginning of time! Although, the world wide web has narrowed it down to two suspects: Mahatma Ghandi and Stevie Wonder. I think I know who I’d put my money on! Anyway, why did I pick this quote?

Because it’s relevant as fuck.

Between 2016 and 2017 I suffered from a number of mental illnesses. It took me to a seriously dark place that I never hope to return to and every day I’m working on that. In 2017 I got a serious wake up call when a dear friend took his life. The impact it made on his friends and family that he left behind played a big part in saving my own life. The reason I’ve told you this is because before I experienced this ordeal I would always want but never ask. I never asked because I always assumed the answer would be no and that is how I saw my life: things always going wrong, never lucky, things falling apart around me.

Losing my friend showed me just how short life can be. It forced me to change my perspective. Now I’m a much less negative person. I’m more spontaneous and always go in with the same outlook as Dr Pepper: “what’s the worst that can happen?”.

Most of us don’t ask because for some reason we are all afraid of rejection. I believe we are so quick to think that we’ve been rejected because we are complete and utter failures, when in actual fact that probably isn’t the case at all. If you are guilty of thinking like this you need to stop and change your perspective right now.

Rejection doesn’t mean you’re not good enough, it means you don’t fit a certain criteria. Maybe you’ve been rejected romantically and maybe the person who rejected you prefers the opposite sex from you. Maybe you’ve been rejected after an interview but maybe the manager hired a family friend. The point I’m trying to make is don’t be so hard on yourself. Rejection happens and the best way to deal with it is to “pick yourself up” and “dust yourself off” (what can I say I’m a sucker for quotes so there’s a bonus one!).

Certainly I’ve missed out in the past because I didn’t just ask for what I wanted. I also know for a fact that I have gained so much from just asking for what I want. I would not be in my current job if I didn’t ask! Next time you are faced with your fear telling you not to ask, I challenge you to go ahead and bloody well ask! After all the worst that can happen is the answer is no. You can handle a two letter word, you’re a grown up for crying out loud.

You’ve got this.

 

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