• Life,  Mental Matters

    Far From The Tree?

    My name is Jemma. I am 35 and I am crazy. Not in like a “Wurrr! Mad for it! Drink 10 pints on a night out and streak down the high street” kind of crazy (although maybe in 2002 that would have been the case). I mean like neurosis, paranoia, depression, over thinking, anxiety kind of crazy. I have no memory of being anything other than bonkers, feeling different, out of place, even as a very small child. I have questioned who I am, why I am, my sexuality, my intelligence and, more often than not, my own sanity. I have made two attempts on my own life. Neither of…

  • Life

    Dear Boobs

    We have been together for most of my life. You arrived early. I was about 10 when I first needed a bra and I must be honest, I neglected you a bit. Didn’t get measured, wore a few dodgy Ethel’s specials (Ethel Austin for those outside Merseyside) The fact that I was a fat kid didn’t help either. The extra weight contorted your shape, affecting your development. I’ll be honest, I was bloody delighted you showed up. As a spotty, obese, geeky teenager, my tits were the only things I had going for me. Next to my undeveloped friends, I was busty and curvy (read ‘fat with big boobs’) Not…

  • 5 WHYZ,  Life

    5 Reasons Why You Should Try Alternative Parenting Methods

    Parenting is an ongoing learning lesson that no one is an expert or professional at. It’s a learn-as-you-go experience that lasts a super long time. While you can always ask for advice from family, seek PhD help from a doctor who wrote a book on it, or just “wing-it” and hope you’re doing the right thing, parenting is probably the one thing you will always have questions about. It’s the one thing in life I question myself on from time-to-time because I’m constantly learning. While many people have their own parenting doctrine, here’s five reasons why you should try alternative methods to parenting. You open yourself up to ideas. Trying…

  • 5 WHYZ,  Life,  Parenting

    5 Reasons Why The Class WhatsApp Group Is The Gateway To Hell

    So, your child is starting reception. You want them to make friends. You want to make friends with the other parents, maybe find a kindred sprit to text about your shit husbands and drink cheap wine on play dates with. When a class parents suggests setting up a Whatsapp group for you all to stay in stay in the school loop and arrange play dates, and help each other out with drops offs and pick ups you think it’s a marvelous idea. You’ve not been down the pub since 1864 and you are desperate to make new friends to get out the fucking house – I get it. I get…

  • Life

    To My Niece On Your 13th Birthday

    I always pride myself on being your cool Aunty. As the years go by, I am coming to the conclusion that this might not actually be the case. For example, I am about to say something that only deeply uncool old people say; “I don’t know where the last 13 years have gone.” You have grown up so quickly and I feel desperately sad that the cute, bonkers little toddler is now a sassy, bonkers teenager. Although I miss your little squishy face, the best thing about you growing up, is that you have become my best mate.  Often, I forget you are only 13 and I really need to…

  • Life

    5 Reasons Why I Can’t Live Without Coconut Oil

    When I became a mom for the first time, I started looking for holistic, natural, and organic ways of parenting. I’ve tried and failed a few times at several different efforts. But I completely lucked out with one. Coconut oil has been my go-to product and I will happily sing its praise. So why do I love it so much and swear by it? Here’s 5 reasons why I can’t live without coconut oil in my pantry. I use it on my hair for frizz and tangle control. In that sense it works as a natural leave-in conditioner and is great for kid’s hair too. It tames and shines your…

  • Life,  Mental Matters

    Perfect Doesn’t Exist

    As some of you may know, I’m 33. From around the age of ‘knee-high to a grasshopper’ I’ve been asked – “what do you want to be when you grow up?” I have dreamt of a hundred different lives from the usual – ballerina, teacher, princess – to the not so usual – travel journalist, interior decor designer, vampire. In fact, it’s an age old question that we ask our own children today and, I don’t know about you but I worry that my kids want to be YouTuber’s or gymnasts (having never taken a class in their life) and even a builder. I mean, it’s already ALL or NOTHING…

  • 5 WHYZ,  Life

    5 Reasons Why Running A Business As A Parent Is Great

    The phrase “work-life balance” has always really annoyed me. It seems to be this mythical thing that you’re supposed to aim for but no-one really knows quite what it is or how to achieve it. It’s not like you say “How are you?” to a friend and they reply “My work-life balance is really great thanks!” before downing half a pint of Pinot Grigio. Also, I have found that, since having kids, there’s really no such thing as work-life balance. It’s just life. I run my own business and when my first child came along, I had no way of balancing the different parts of my life – I had…

  • 5 WHYZ,  Life

    5 Reasons Why I Love Being A Virtual Assistant

    Show me a parent who isn’t chasing that illusive perfect work/life balance. Hey, I’m not even sure if it exists but I do know that when you love what you do it certainly feels like less of an issue… My son was 11 months old and far from sleeping through the night when I started my Virtual Assistant business Admin Angels in 2016. There’s been incredible highs and devastating lows. But looking ahead, as my husband has just joined the business fulltime, I’m genuinely excited for our future and my only regret is not being brave and doing it sooner! So, here’s five reasons why I love being a Virtual…

  • Life

    No DSS

    You know when people love a certain decade so much that they indulge themselves in it. Live it. Breathe it. Wear the winklepicker shoes and backcomb their hair into beehive submission every morning? They remind me of letting agents. Letting agents who love to put a short sentence at the end of ninety nine percent of adverts for rental properties; the sentence that strikes fear into the heart of renters on a low income or those in receipt of full benefits; the words acronym that should have died out with the end of Thatcher; always in bold type the words: NO DSS I like to think of them typing out…