5 WHYZ,  Banter

5 Reasons Why Kids Get On Your Nerves

1. Drink Spillages In Public

Anyone with children has been there right?  You are out in a restaurant or pub or cafe and your child has a glass of juice.  Whilst there is liquid in that glass you are on tenterhooks, a sort of endurance test for waiting for the glass to be knocked over or spilled.

Don’t even get me started on straws or ice “just drink normally out of the straw!!” is a regular phrase I use.  I mean why do that when you can suck out of the bottom of the straw instead, or in the case of a milkshake or smoothie use the straw like some sort of eating implement.

2. Wobbly Teeth

Urgh, not only do they give me the hebegeebies but no one tells you about the painful days where the tooth is literally hanging on a thread but your child won’t let you go near them to pull it out!  Then there’s the stress of the tooth fairy.  I am pretty sure I’m not the only one who has forgotten to replace a tooth with a coin.  That moment you wake in the dead of night with the realisation that you haven’t done it! Then you have to get up, go and find some money and sneak in their room without waking them (creepy much?)

3. Lets Be Creative

“Oh yes when I have a child I’ll do baking with them and… painting and ooh ooh play dough I loved that as a child… I   can’t wait to buy that for their first Christmas… oh yes and glitter it’ll be ace making Christmas cards for people…”  

Motherf****** play dough.

Bits all over the floor, all the colours get mixed up and then they leave the lids off and it dries up. And baking, I mean it’s basically a case of “oh I’ll just do it myself, you’re getting flour everywhere, it’s not even mixed properly”.

4. Commentary

I blame YouTube.  My son cannot play a computer game or watch something without a constant commentary.  Get him and a friend together and it’s like Ali A or DanTDM are in the room (if you don’t have children over the age of 5 you’ll have no idea what I’m on about, if you do you’ll share my pain).   Thank goodness my 7-year-old has stopped watching Toys and Me!

5. Spa Breaks at the Supermarket

Who knew that one day going to a supermarket alone would be the equivalent of a mini spa break?  Time to browse each section without two children fighting each other, climbing in and out of the trolley, nagging for a magazine or a toy or sweets.  The offer of “I’ll push the trolley mummy” may seem great but the reality is they just push it into each other, the shelves and other people!

Written by Andrea Jennings

 

 

photo credit: black.zack00 Hulk angry via photopin (license)
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