Reason 1 My Mental Health
Look, I know people fiddle the system ‘n’ all that-“I can’t work because of….” etc. That’s not me-I don’t claim benefits, because to do so would be to have to prove to the “powers that be” that I’m “mentally unwell”-too mentally unwell to go and work a full time job. Right now, I don’t feel confident or comfortable enough to go and work a full time job. That’s not something that should ever be judged in anyone who is brave enough to admit it.
Reason 2 Childcare Costs
I actually have sat and worked out how much childcare would cost me, in comparison to how much I’d earn going back to work. I would be basically working for free. So I’d be leaving my children with someone to take them into school each morning, and getting someone to collect them, I’d not see them as much, and for what-for me to work 40 hours for £0?! Doesn’t make a ton of sense does it…..
Reason 3 My Husband
We talk a lot about this subject-I worry that he’ll feel pressured by others to pressure me into going to work. Thankfully we’re massively on the same page with this-he knows the issue with childcare vs pay, and he knows how my mental health affects me. What’s more, I think he quite likes the idea that his children are with me, not a stranger/childminder/nanny, (and of course that his housework is done, and meals are cooked).
Reason 4 I Enjoy It. I Really Do!
I love waking up and sorting their breakfast, before I get them both ready for their busy day at school. I love waiting for the clock to get to 2:55 so I can leave and pick them back up. I love being there at the end of every day when they tell me what they did, while they were away from me for 6 (long) hours. I get to cook their dinner, and eat with them. I get to read them a bedtime story and put them to bed. I get to spend weeks and weeks with them-just us-during half terms and holidays. I just love it-I feel like I was born to do this and being a full time, stay at home Mumma to my two little people is what I was meant to do.
Reason 5 It’s My Choice
This is really important to me, and touches on the introduction to my “5 Reasons Why” when I said about questions and comments I’ve been asked recently. Lots of “when are you going to go back to work”, “what will you do with yourself when they’re both at full time school in September”, and, my favourite, “surely you want a career?!”
Of course I want a career, but I want my children to be happy, settled and feel like I’m still there for them full time. Additionally, so long as my Husband, and my children are happy with the situation we’re currently in, then why is there a need to change it. I have no pressure from those closest to me, I am happy, they’re happy, and ultimately, it’s my choice.
What I find, time and time again, is people’s opinions on others situations. I have plenty of family and friends around me, working full time and getting childcare for their little ones. That works for them in their individual situations, and I admire that. I certainly don’t judge them or suggest to them an alternative way of living for their family-and I’d hope that same courtesy would be extended to myself, and others around them.
Regardless of our situations, the goal is the same-to attempt to be the best parents we can be-and that’s all that matters to me.
photo credit: Anders Adermark Bokeh Love via photopin (license)
Jemma is a blogger/writer, Mum and Wife from Ramsgate in Kent. She began blogging two years ago after using her writing as an outlet, following recurrent miscarriages and lack of mental health aftercare. It became something she realised she was good at, and now writes regularly over on Mayflower Bogs, and also loves to review products/events etc.
She also is a Mummy to two children, and a wife/housewife/general dogsbody to her Husband and family.
In her spare time, Jemma loves to go running (while attempting not to die), and she has a mild-severe infatuation with Love Island, Harry Potter, and Marvel Movies. She is also a self confessed geek-she also loves watching re-runs of The Big Bang Theory, and Doctor Who.
Jemma prides herself on being as real as possible-none of this Insta-house ready nonsense-her house is an absolute crap-hole 90% of the time-unless someone is visiting-which is when she also prides herself on being an amazing speed cleaner too!
She is very much looking forward to being part of the 5 WHYZ team!!!